Saturday, October 18, 2008

In the Blink of an Eye...

Dear Friends and Family,

It has been a tumultuous day. I have felt like I have been in a whirlwind as my children have swirled around me with need...need ....need...and me with my mind realing with all the needs OUTSIDE of my home! Before I continue I want to share something my Uncle sent me today...


A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.
The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting. ''What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?'
The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do.'
He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother,' he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat.. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Today, I feel as if the Lord has been throwing bricks at me and I have been subconsciously dodging them. Many of you know this past few weeks have been HELL, to say the least. Our finances hitting rock bottom...$15 to last two weeks...our cell phones cut off because we can't carry the bill anymore from my work with MIZERO's Tour...our washer STILL broken after 3 weeks and 3 repairmen...our vaccuum breaking...my loss of function for 6 days as I rested to let my mind settle...and then on the heels of my rest period, little Liliana gets very ill with fever, up all night for days, clingy, etc. just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! And with all this AT HOME, not to mention ALL 5 PRECIOUS CHILDREN needing what 5 children need EVERY DAY...to have a Fundraising Event to keep up with and my new Mary Kay business to build!

I sat today and wrote out a note that I put on the fridge..."When the Power Serve is over Mommy WILL NOT volunteer for anything else outside the home! Make me accountable! Signed, Mommy!" Caela ended up reading it tonight as she ate her bowl of peas with me and laughed! I told her, "Until Liliana is 5 years old Mommy will not take on a large outside project again! I need to be giving those brain cells and hours to you guys!"

I started this blog because I felt such a heart desire to "pour" into my little garden at home! This was after coming off the MIZERO Tour. Then I felt such a leading to serve as Event Director for our DCA fundraiser! I started my Mary Kay business, because of our need for money beyond Bill's paycheck. These, in and of themselves, are WONDERFUL!!! But I AGAIN, have stepped out of the beautiful garden the Lord has called me to give to FIRST and neglected them for other areas of service.

I realize that I am a selfish, rebellious, controlling person who cannot remain steadfast in tending the INCREDIBLE GARDEN of precious children that He has given to me so graciously! WHY IS THAT? SERIOUSLY!!!

Two things were added to this process this weekend...Friday after school, the children were playing and a friend who, before children, was a principal of an elementary school was sitting on a rock watching her two little preschoolers go up and down the hill. I looked at her face. She was obviously praying for them, or thinking intently about them. I felt the Lord speak to my heart the need to contact her and share with her the witness that she was of focus on what is MOST IMPORTANT in this stage of her little ones lives. Secondly, today a catalog arrived in the mail for homeschooler resources. As many of you know before DCA I homeschooled Caela and Isabella until Caela was in 2nd Grade. This catalog put me back to that place of the hunger to pour into the lives of my children the admonition of the Lord, to spend time reading to them, worshipping with them, teaching them...not only academics, but all manner of life principles in the knowledge of the Lord. All that has gone to the wayside as I RACE THROUGH LIFE in the endeavers of giftedness to serve in other areas.

I grieved a bit today. I ended up venting all of this to my precious, Bill, who was not released from my tirade of revelation for about 30 minutes! = ) I told him, "I know that when Liliana is well and the washer is fixed I will feel better and will probably say...It's ok! I can keep up the pace! But I CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE!! I need to redirect myself to the BEST...as Oswald Chambers says, The GOOD is the enemy of the BEST! And the Best is you and our little ones! Remember years ago when I read The Excellent Wife and began to put those Biblical Principles into action...you were SO BLESSED and I had never seen you so at peace and joyful and loving! I need to go there again and get settled in TRULY WHAT GOD IS CALLING ME TO and that is to put Him first, YOU second, the CHILDREN third and JOB/MINISTRY last!"

I am sharing all this with you because I desperately want to be in tune with my Jesus's plan for my life and the lives of my precious family. I have been battling this struggle for years now and I'm tired of battling my flesh and my weaknesses, and my sin, in racing about too fast trying to do it all ...and WHY? because I am weak and sinful and fearful of loss. In 5 years, Rwanda will still be in need, DCA will still be in need, The River will still be in need, and WHATEVER ELSE will be in need, but right now...MY CHILDREN - MY LITTLE GARDEN is HERE and in a BLINK OF AN EYE they will vanish into ADULTS and I cannot give another day to that which is outside my garden allowing my garden to grow weeds and brown and lose it's glow and beauty!

I CRIED out to my JESUS tonight! And I CRY OUT to you, my friends and loved ones! PLEASE pray for strength and courage to do a huge turn! To final the commitments I have with our AWESOME Power Serve, and focus my time well for building my MK business with JUST the time that is NEEDED...NO MORE! and to pour my attentions FULLY and WHOLLY onto my husband and my CHILDREN!!! So that our finances will stabilize, our home will be a joy to be in, we will know the sweetness of His Spirit among us and a gentle quiet spirit in Mom...Not a Mad, buzzing Mommy!

Thank you for the time you MAY have taken to read this...I am impressed if you actually made it this far! = ) I treasure your prayers for ALL OF US!! And lastly, please pray for Bill's shoulder. The muscle is atrophied and it seems to be getting worse. Please pray that the Lord would heal it and it will be spared any more loss of function.
We love you all DEARLY!!! Thank you for taking the time to read this! You are SO AMAZING!!! = )

...with the sweetest affection." (1 Peter 1:22).
Cheryl and all us McCarthys

4 comments:

Joseph Gainer said...

Cheryl, may God bless and keep you (and Bill and the children), may God's face shine upon you, and may his peace that passes all understanding settle on you and your household, including your washing machine. Thank you for explaining the struggles you and Bill face right now. It's hard, when we live so far apart, to know how to pray for you both, my good friends. Rest assured that I, along with others, are knocking on heaven's door for you.

Eric and Michelle said...

Precious Cheryl...Jesus bless you. His hand is on you and he is faithful to complete the work he has begun in you.

Eric and Michelle said...

call me to talk sometime this week....maybe meet for coffee

Cheryl said...

Dear Joe, what a gift to receive a WRITTEN PRAYER from our dear brother poet! I know the Lord has annointed your prayers for us today! And Michelle, YES! I would LOVE to sit and chat over coffee this week!

Today has been AMAZING! From the moment my little Liliana woke from her slumber I have known a rest in my spirit I have NOT KNOWN for MONTHS NOW! Gracie and I actually read 3 books in my bed this morning and had a sweet breakfast together...focused ONLY ON HER! She said to me, "Mommy, why are you NOT mad?" = ) I plowed through Gracie and Daniel's room...OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT A MESS!!! = ) And now I am about to FINALLY bite the bullet and go to the Laundromat! Just trusting the Lord for the money to cover it!

THANK YOU for your kindness in prayer for us! PLEASE DON'T STOP! At least until November 8th when the Power Serve will be over! = ) We love you all DEARLY!