Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Taking that First Step...
You reach a point where your spirit is willing but your flesh is weak. I wanted to begin my process yesterday starting with the Living Room. It didn't happen. Interuptions, distractions, lack of focus...but REALLY MOTIVATED!
Because of the stress of December with 4 of my children and myself ill the house is just overwhelming as I try to take it one step at a time. So many things blaring at me!
This morning I woke to get the older three flowers out the door to Dayspring. Then breakfast for the 2 littlest flowers who are still home with me.
It has been excrutiatingly cold here in Virginia and I was chilled to the bone. So the girls and I went up to my bed and closed the door to keep in the heat in my bedroom and snuggled on the bed for an hour reading book after book after book. = ) Such a sweet time!
As we surfaced to go begin mobilizing for the day I was just left sitting here at my desk...paralyzed. Sad, I know. But you know...I did not give my first fruits to my King Jesus this morning. I raced past Him, as if He were standing there waiting to greet me and say, "Good Morning!" and I rushed past Him too busy to stop. I went to my email and blog comments before I sat with my King. When there was nothing in my inbox this morning I felt so sad at the lack of contact with friends, family. And as I moped at my frying pan making eggs this morning the Lord whispered in my ear, "Now you see, how I felt."
OH! How crushing! To see my selfishness, my utter selfishness! And He said, "I wanted to lead you this morning and give you direction, but you chose not to visit with me. I am saddened because of your heaviness this morning, too. I love you."
I know the days I give Him my first fruits, I have clarity, Joy, a weighted steadiness to my sense of being, and an excitement to serve Him and my family throughout the day.
I pray that my spirit will win tomorrow morning!