Friday, February 26, 2010

"And They Will Rise Up and Call Her Blessed..."

Today was a rugged road for me. 
As some of you may not be aware, for the last 11 years, not counting this past year, I have been a woman who has had her heart constantly pulled outside the home. The Lord has given me many gifts and a huge heart. For 10 years I yearned for children, then after Isabella, our second child was born, I was asked to head up the prayer ministry at our church in Northern Virginia. After that, I took on coordinating the MOPS group at our church, and the years continued to bring more and more opportunities to serve the Lord and others...outside my home. 
I always felt being home and just being a mom was not enough...that I had to do MORE for the Lord. I had to use my gifts He had given me to further His home and the WORLD!!! 

When I was booking the Mizero Children of Rwanda Hope Tour in 2007 a dear friend at my church emailed me and wrote, "Just remember, Cheryl, your children are not orphans." But in a way they were....because Bill was busy with two jobs and their mother was always putting them off to be available to the work of the Lord outside the home. 

I prayed unceasingly for YEARS that the Lord would give the same drive and passion for those ministries outside the home for MY HOME! For MY CHILDREN, for MY HUSBAND! But it wasn't until this past year the Lord brought me low and literally took from me all those things outside and pressed me into MY HOME. 
I was searching one day online for help with LARGE FAMILIES and found a blog called, Too Many Kids in the Bathtub...I LOVED the name and quickly realized the Lord had given me this blog to show me that this was His heart for me. Every post Tara wrote on for the first 6 months was eerily right what He had me dealing was AMAZING! From her I found other moms online and then the Lord brought me a dear friend here at my church, Robin. She too was a mother of 5, she too, was gifted and wise and amazing, and she too was dealing with transition and wanting to bring her home to be a haven. 

It has been about 6 months now of stability and solidity in my home. My heart is truly HOME! Today, I was brought some storms from areas I have ministered in the past. My children's school, DCA, and a call from a lady who knows Mizero's Founder. 
Both of these experiences today brought me back to two years ago...and the years before...and I just cringed at how foundational I had become in my home. I am not willing anymore to juggle my children's needs to meet the needs of outside ministry. Not until Gracie and Liliana are older. I was tempted today to enter back into that lifestyle and was SO EXCITED to see that where I have been brought to is SOLID and STAYED!! 

YES, I would love to serve others outside of my home, but only in the context of making sure my children and husbands needs are met FIRST!!! There will be plenty of time when the little girls are older and I have time in the day to devote to outside minsitry, but today, I was so blessed that my heart, drive, and passion were FIRST for my amazing feeling! WOW!! 
As the photo depicts above...what a calling...I only wish I had reached this place earlier in my older children's lives. I know that we are unbelievably TIGHT financially, I know this, and so does Jesus, but He continues to provide and He will lead us to provision in His way and timing not in fear. He is our God who takes care of the sparrows and the lilies of the field...oh, what an AWESOME God we serve! 

Enter into My Rest...My calling! 


Amy said...

Cheryl, I love love love love your heart so much!

I don't even know what best would explain the utter relief and joy you come to when you truely embrace and fall into what God has called you to as a momma. It is just the most beautiful release isn't it?

Beautiful post!

Cheryl said...

Yes it is, my friend! Yes it is!