Saturday, May 1, 2010

Discipline...Respect...Conviction...Love...

Leading Little Ones Home...

I just spent the morning "disciplining" two of my children...my 1st and my 4th.
I then, feeling such sadness, I went online and saw a post by a blog mom...she writes:

"I overheard a neighborhood mom say that she was, and I quote, "over her kids".  Her eight year old daughter was 5 feet away.  I cringed.  She said it again... "I'm sick of my kids".  I think I almost lost my dinner.

Seriously, I thought.  You just said that

Now, I've never actually said those words... out loud... twice.... with my kids right in earshot, but how many times have a said it with my actions?

I find that when I get lazy in biblical, calm, rational discipline, I tend to treat them like a burden.  When my life is more important, than taking the time to sit them on my lap, lovingly spank them, and talk to them about what they did... I become an angry, resentful mommy.

My days are not joyful.  The clock moves slower than molasses, and I'm not thankful for the privilege of staying home with them.   One that I prayed and prayed for, and God graciously answered."

I wrote this mom back and honestly told her that I HAD spoken these words, to my children at one time or another, and not to some third party, but to their little faces and LOUDLY! 

After reading her words with Gracie on my lap... I took off my glasses...I turned her around...and I asked her to look at me in the eyes. 

I reminded her about the words of death that I had spoken to her in the past. I told her how wrong that was and how sorry I was. I told her that she is SO LOVED and sometimes Mommy can be so tired and allow myself to get distracted that in that those words were allowed to come out of my mouth. We then sat together and I prayed and asked the Lord to redeem those moments in her life and replace them with His words of Love and Life. 

As we moms of mulitples reach the "shift" phase of having children who are becoming independant and who understand their actions and STILL have little ones who need that minute to minute nurturing and discipline, it is so easy to get FRUSTRATED and want the little ones to "Get with it!" ...thinking, for some reason, that they can grow up faster than their older siblings. 


I have TWO little young ones still at home. 
Today I sat with my oldest...my "truly sweet spirited and nurturing" pre teen. She was coming at me with AN ATTITUDE that I rarely, if EVER, see in her! I ended up FREAKING out on her with all my fury of FEAR after hearing her share about her classmates and choices she was making to "make friends"..."This is how you make friends, Mom". 

I explained to her how as she grows up and makes these seemingly harmless choices in order to "fit in" they will slowly move to BIGGER choices that will cause her and her family difficulty if she does not make right choices ongoing along the way. 

It was a hard conversation and I felt AWFUL afterwards and apologized to her, too, for my unkind and unloving way of speaking to her about these issues. 

I want to thank this Blog Mom for her words, for posting, and for the Lord's leading me to her. To remember, it's going to be HARD until we die! Because they will leave our home and we will still be mom to our babies! and then to their babies! 

But I would rather deal with all this...no matter how uncomfortable and stripping it can be to me physcially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually...I would much rather walk this tough line than to not have my little quiver full at all! 

Love your kiddos today! Be reminded of their beauty and their love in your lives! Remember what your heart wells in when you think upon them and tell them how AWESOME they are! Speak words of LIFE into them today! 

 
Peace of the Lord ~
Cheryl  

3 comments:

Amy said...

Oy! Being a parent is so NOT for the faint of heart!!! It isn't! I am thoroughly convinced more and more of this very fact :)

You are such a great momma... you are! It just drives out any flesh that is in us, doesn't it? Ugh!! It's a feel good kind of pain... :)

((big hugs)) Amy

Cottage Sunshine said...

Amen, Cheryl! It is important to show our love...and pour life into their little minds and souls through our love, words and praise! I remember what it is like to just not react as good as I would have liked...there was always a constant reminder from the Holy Spirit to react calmly and prayerfully! May God continue to speak to your heart and continue to bless you with sweetness!

Cheryl said...

Amy...you are just SO ENCOURAGING! GOOD GRIEF! = ) Thanks! I needed to hear those words today. = )

Carolyn...Thank you for your prayers! I hunger for sweetness and patience with the kiddlings! That they will blossom and grow! Like your beautiful tulips! = )