Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I got to thinking today about a few things.
As I was scrubbing the bathroom and listening to the girls making messes behind me my mind was just going. I looked at myself in the mirror and this is what I saw:
~ Major bad hair day
~ My stomach growing out again because I've put back some of the pounds I've worked so hard to shed.
~ Anger lines on my face from my impatience and frustration with the constant Inconsistency I exhibit in my day to day life.
~ Saddness because it seems I'm always going one step forward and 3 steps back.
I realized today WHY I gravitate to my blog and the "Blog Moms" every day. I've really been wondering about this the last few weeks. I realized today that it is two things:
Like the photo above...this is a dress I am DYING to get back into! I LOVE this dress SO MUCH! Today it's an analogy of how I want to see myself as a Mom, Wife, Daughter of the King...I'm not there yet...I'm here:
I'm tired of being HERE.
I'm tired of being drab and heavy and uncomfortable.
As I blog and as I read the journeys of other Moms I get inspired. I get motivated. I share things on my blog that may not be "consistant," but are ways of keeping myself accountable and a place to see HOPE as I struggle to...
~ not lose it when Gracie and Liliana attack the Family Room with TOYS after I've just straightened and cleaned.
~ When I AGAIN can't get my butt out of bed to enjoy the few sweet quiet moments with the Lord.
~ Don't keep the train moving after the kids get home from school so that we have a peaceful and productive evening and all the kiddos get to bed on time and Bill and I can have some time alone.
~ not give in AGAIN to that second coffee or that third chocolate...when I DEEP inside want to be eating my lovely healthy diet all the time.
These are just to name a few. = )
I know I'm PMSing a bit here...but I believe that "PMS mountains" are just magnifiers of what's subconsciously lurking underneath.
I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there with these days...feelings...etc.
I just felt like sharing. = )
I know I will get into that dress...ONE DAY! And I know that I will get close to "being" what this dress represents as I keep making strides to remember to
"Be Still and Know That I am God."