Accountability....HOPE

I got to thinking today about a few things. 

As I was scrubbing the bathroom and listening to the girls making messes behind me my mind was just going. I looked at myself in the mirror and this is what I saw:

~ Major bad hair day

~ My stomach growing out again because I've put back some of the pounds I've worked so hard to shed. 

~ Anger lines on my face from my impatience and frustration with the constant Inconsistency I exhibit in my day to day life. 

~ Saddness because it seems I'm always going one step forward and 3 steps back. 

I realized today WHY I gravitate to my blog and the "Blog Moms" every day. I've really been wondering about this the last few weeks. I realized today that it is two things:

~ Accountability...

~ Hope

Like the photo above...this is a dress I am DYING to get back into! I LOVE this dress SO MUCH! Today it's an analogy of how I want to see myself as a Mom, Wife, Daughter of the King...I'm not there yet...I'm here:

I'm tired of being HERE. 

I'm tired of being drab and heavy and uncomfortable. 

As I blog and as I read the journeys of other Moms I get inspired. I get motivated. I share things on my blog that may not be "consistant," but are ways of keeping myself accountable and a place to see HOPE as I struggle to...

~ not lose it when Gracie and Liliana attack the Family Room with TOYS after I've just straightened and cleaned. 

~ When I AGAIN can't get my butt out of bed to enjoy the few sweet quiet moments with the Lord. 

~ Don't keep the train moving after the kids get home from school so that we have a peaceful and productive evening and all the kiddos get to bed on time and Bill and I can have some time alone. 

~ not give in AGAIN to that second coffee or that third chocolate...when I DEEP inside want to be eating my lovely healthy diet all the time. 

These are just to name a few. = )

I know I'm PMSing a bit here...but I believe that "PMS mountains" are just magnifiers of what's subconsciously lurking underneath. 

I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there with these days...feelings...etc. 

I just felt like sharing. = ) 

I know I will get into that dress...ONE DAY! And I know that I will get close to "being" what this dress represents as I keep making strides to remember to

"Be Still and Know That I am God."